Monday, January 14, 2013

Do things that inspire you. Every day. As if...

I'm at a loss for words. I have been avoiding this blog all week and now Sunday evening is upon me and my fingers are resisting, my mind is tired.

I was scheduled to write about our new camping gear for the upcoming camping season, but I can't bring myself to think of anything much other than a mother who is sitting in her home, rocking her infant daughter and mourning the loss of the love of her life.

On Monday, I learned that a friend lost her partner and father to their beautiful 9 month old baby girl, in a tragic traffic accident. I just can't seem to shake the thought of how in the split of a second, the topography of life as you know it can be transformed forever.

My heart aches for her and simultaneously it is racing out of my chest, for I can't stop my mind from wandering to the what ifs. Since becoming a mother, I have become acutely aware of my mortality and I try my best to reign in my psychotic trysts down that dark, scary road as best I can. Usually with a good amount of success.

I have done a lot of cleaning this week. It's cathartic. I have held my baby tighter and od'd on the smell of her tangerine-flavored neck and stayed up late into the night seeking solace, support and comfort in my husband's voice and yet this heaviness still lingers. I know it will lift. I know my friend, with time and the support of all of her loved ones, will heal. I know. I guess I just needed to share. I wanted to remind you to hold your husband's hand and kiss your baby's pinky and laugh with your mom and do things that inspire you. Every day. As if..


7 comments:

  1. Heartbroken for your friend. So sorry to hear this. An unfortunate reminder to love fiercely in the moments you have. Thank you for sharing, even though it's hard.

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    1. you couldn't have said it better...love fiercely.

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  2. "Seize the Day, putting as little trust as possible in the next (day)", Horace

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  3. Sorry to hear this. I can't imagine. A good reminder to cherish what we have and yes...love fiercely.

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  4. Jen. This post is breathtaking, expressive, thoughtful and rich. Thank you for sharing your heart and your wisdom. I'm sure we all preferred this to the camping gear. Although I'm sure you'll find a descriptive and eloquent way for us to relate to that as well. :O)

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  5. my heart is heavy with sorrow for your friend. i hope for strength and lots of gripping hugs to keep her close while she heals.

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  6. I hope everything will be okay sooner..

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